Then shortly after my first daughter was born, he began losing weight. He was taken to the vet, but the vet couldn't figure out what the problem was. One night, I took him out for a walk.
As we were coming home, he quit. He just sat on the road and quit. He didn't want to walk anymore. So, I picked him up and was carrying him home. As I was carrying him home, he died in my arms. I felt the last breath leave him. His little body became limp and heavier.
After I got him home, I looked at him and saw that the life had totally left him. He was gone. Just a few minutes earlier, I had taken him out for a walk. Now, I was carrying his lifeless body home.
That was an experience and a pain I'll never forget. It hit me hard. I didn't want to get another dog for the longest time. I didn't want to chance going through an experience like that again.
I had such pain, because my love for that little dog was deep down in my innermost being...my heart. I didn't have to think about whether I grieved. I just grieved. I saw the little guy with my eyes. My mind told me he was dead. My heart welled up with grief.
My mind and heart were connected.